Mine Would Be You: Lawson & Emelyn(10)

By: Danielle Jamie

“I know. I will. I’m just not ready yet.” I keep my eyes focused inside the trunk as I dig a box out. “I don’t want you to stress about this. Your wedding is going to be perfect. Trust me. I promise I’ll set up a day sometime this week to meet with him and try to get us to a place where things at least won’t be too awkward.”

Slamming the trunk shut, she props the box on her hip and gives me a weak smile. “Thank you. I know how hard this is for you, but Lawson is a good person, Emelyn. He just made a mistake, one he has to live with forever. He made some pretty crappy choices afterwards, but believe me when I tell you he’s regretted hurting you every single day since you moved back here.”

I give her a half-hug, trying not to drop the box in my other hand along with the one she’s holding onto. “I know. There isn’t a day that goes by I don’t think about him. I just don’t think I can ever truly forgive him. He broke my heart, Dee, the one guy I thought would be the last person to ever hurt me. I just need some more time.”

We make our way down her small driveway, past Lawson’s bike and Grayson’s pickup truck, and climb the red brick steps that lead up to her porch. “I’ll just leave these here and you can have one of the guys bring them in, okay?” I suggest, setting the box down on her wicker loveseat.

My heart is racing against my chest as I think about Lawson being on the other side of that door. I wonder what he’s doing, and if he’s thought about me at all since coming back here. Delilah lives in her Granny’s old house, the same house we played at so many times after school growing up. We used to get a kick out of driving Lawson absolutely mad as we chased him and his friends around.

It’s crazy how our life has changed so drastically over these last several years. If only we got a redo and were able to turn back time. Lily would still be alive, and Lawson and I would still be together—at least I hope we’d be.

“Text me when you get home. After mass tomorrow, we can grab our coffees to go and get back here to clean these gems up. What do ya say?” She eyes the boxes, gives me a cheeky grin, and then bounces her perfectly shaped eyebrows up and down playfully. I love how she can better my mood without trying. She is truly my best friend in every way.

“Sounds like the perfect Sunday afternoon. Goodnight, girly. Tell Grayson I said hello,” I pause for a moment, and I don’t know why, but I before I can clamp my mouth shut, the words fly from my lips, “and Lawson too, I guess.”

A look of shock flashes across Delilah’s face for a moment before she quickly reels herself back in. A big all-teeth smile dances across her lips at me as she grips the doorknob. “Will do. Bye!”

I practically sprint to my car before I do something crazy, like walk into her house and see him.

I slide into the driver’s seat, start the car, and shift into reverse. I glance up at the house before I back up, and when I do, I spot deep hazel eyes peeking out through the blinds at my car.

Immediately, my heart lunges into my throat and I panic, backing up too fast and not paying attention to where I’m going, and I end up knocking down Delilah’s trashcans.

“Really?” I blurt out as I pull up alongside the curb and park my car. Delilah and Grayson come running out onto the porch as I’m climbing out of my seat.

“What the hell happened?” she shouts down to me, cupping her hands around her mouth.

“I didn’t notice your trashcans is what happened! You really need to find a better place to keep these damn things,” I snap at her and feel bad as soon as I do, but I’m frazzled and feel as if my head is about to explode as it fills with memories of Lawson and me. They continuously flash behind my eyes, tormenting me.

“Leave it, Emelyn. I’ll clean it up,” Grayson says as he makes his way down the driveway towards me. He has a sympathetic look on his face and it pisses me off. I don’t need to be pitied. I’m sick of being looked at as the poor girl whose boyfriend killed one of her best friends, then after having all of her hopes and dreams stripped away, he dumped her. Everyone in this town looks at me with pity, even after four years, and it infuriates me. I’ve moved on; they all need to too.

“It’s fine. I can do it,” I tell him as I lean down and lift the recycling bin right-side-up.

He reaches out and grabs my arm gently. “Emelyn, it’s okay. I got this. Go home. You girls have had a long day shopping. I don’t even want to think about the hit my bank account probably took today, but the smile on her face is worth every dime.”