If You Only Knew(140)

By: Kristan Higgins


“Just living can be pretty terrifying. I don’t know how you do it. You’re always so damn optimistic.”

“Sorry.” I feel the start of a smile. “I’ll work on that.”

“Also, I’m worried that you’ll realize you can do a lot better than me.”

My heart stops. “Good point,” I breathe.

“I’m hoping you haven’t figured that out yet, but I feel morally obliged to mention it.” He looks at me, some of his nervous energy dissipating, leaving him with just that still intensity. “I miss you.”

My eyes fill. “I miss you, too.”

“I’m irritating and damaged and pretty manic sometimes, not to mention—”

“I just took you back, didn’t I? Quit while you’re ahead.”

His arms go around me, and he hugs me so close and hard that my ribs creak, and I hug him back just as hard, and then he kisses me, a long, perfect kiss, and my heart feels so full that it hurts in a wonderful, warm ache.

Everything I want is right here. Right now.

“I knew you were trouble,” Leo says.

“I love you, too,” I answer, and he laughs and hugs me again, and I breathe in his good, clean Leo smell, my heart splitting open with happiness, overflowing with love.

I used to think that somewhere along the line, I’d find the key to that perfect life, the way Rachel seemed to, and that once I had it, every day would be golden and easy, and everything would fit. But life isn’t like that. There are only perfect, glowing moments, like this one, and then there are the everyday moments that weave them together into a shimmering path that can always be seen, even in the dark.

“You still need a date for that wedding?” Leo asks.

“Only if you want to go.”

“I do.” He smiles down at me, then takes my hand, and we walk down the street together, past the park, past the cemetery, into the beautiful summer day.

* * * * *

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