Happy for A While(3)
Author:Inge Moore

    Anyway, it was nice. I just stayed at home, cleaned up and cookedcheap stuff special-like. For fun, I took long walks and thought upwhat to put on when Corky came home. When he finally did, we'dsnuggle and watch TV or sometimes he'd take me out for a drink at theHomesteader. I was real glad then that I didn't wait and marry formoney, 'cause I sure loved Corky.

    Then Samantha Jane came and things weren't so good. I had awfultroubles then. My stitches ached so bad I felt like that part of mewas a big raw wound that would never heal. Corky expected me to,well -- to keep him happy that way -- and it just made me sick. Itwas all mixed up in my mind with the baby and my breasts were sotight and hard, leaking milk everyplace, I just couldn't. Then shecried so much, Samantha Jane, that Corky'd be screaming at me to shuther up and I'd be crying and yelling, too, and pretty soon he stoppedcoming home at night.

    Well, I guess he missed us because after a while, he came back andthings straightened up a bit -- until our second daughter, Corina,came along and the whole same thing started again. Corky said hedidn't want another squalling brat and that I was a selfish bitch. Then he told me about the other girls he knew who liked looking afterhim and didn't smell like sour milk. Finally he left and I was realscared -- but I was glad too.

    I said to myself, I'm not so bad off. I'm only nineteen. I gottalose some weight maybe, get in shape, but it'll be all right.

    I was lucky. I called the Mental Health and Social Services and theyput me on welfare for till the kids got bigger and arranged for me totalk to a shrink once a month about my problems. He gave me pillsfor my depression only they made my heart beat so fast I had to stoptaking them. I got bored talking to him, too. You know what heasked me? "Where did you come from?" he said. "Howdid you get here?"

    "I was born -- what else?" I says.

    Then he wants to know how my mother and father met. Well, how shouldI know. I never knew that. Anyway, I got tired of all that stuff soI quit, but they still left me on welfare. And the trailer was stillmine. We'd be living in it now if I wasn't here and the kids infoster homes.

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