Love Me Like That(3)

By: Marie James

I roll my shoulders in an attempt to let the anger wash over me and disappear as I make my way to the back of the bar where the office is. Still holding both cups of coffee I use my hip to push open the door that separates the customer area from the back storage area where we keep all the supplies.

I stop in my tracks when I hear a slap and a giggle coming from the hallway where Trent’s office is. My blood runs cold. I take a single step and stop. I listen again, praying that I misheard, knowing the sound was unmistakable.

Crushed, I make my way down the back hallway and stand in the shadow as I see my boyfriend of six years pounding into my best friend. The same person who made friends with me on the playground when she first came to town in the second grade. The woman who has been, before Trent, the only constant in my life. She’s bent over the edge of his desk, and he has her hair tangled around his fist, arching her back so he can kiss her shoulder.

“Fuck, Kitten. This pussy gets tighter every time I fuck it,” Trent says to her on a moan.

Kitten? Every time?

A shiver races up my spine when he uses not only the same pet name I’d once loved but a phrase he’s praised me with for years. Nothing has been sacred. It also informs me that this is far from the first time they’ve done this.

I’m in utter shock. Later I’ll ask myself why I stood there as long as I did. More so I’ll wonder how I backed out of the hallway, calmly placed the still hot coffee on the bar, and walked out of there and never looked back.

They’ll find the coffee. They’ll know I was there because my name is written on both cups courtesy of the barista at Starbucks. Any other conclusions they draw is on them. As for me? I’m done. The only people I have in my life that I love have betrayed me. I have nothing left.

In a form less than myself I make my way home and pray I have enough time to pack and leave before they discover the coffee on the bar.

I sneer at the thought that since Trent already came with me in the shower this morning, he will last longer this time around. Another unwelcome thought comes to mind when I picture their morning betrayal on repeat in my head. I don’t think they were using a condom.

This pisses me off even through the haze of my devastation. Now I have to get myself checked for STDs. There’s no telling what Trent has been up to for the past six years of my life. He’s loving and attentive. He’s never pulled away from me. The only issue we’ve had lately is him working so much. Now I know he’s been leaving me in the morning to no doubt bang my best friend.

I may not be aware of all that Trent has been doing, but I’m well aware of the lifestyle my never satisfied best friend has. Knowing he’s not been using protection with her, means I’ll be at a clinic first thing Monday morning. I never had a problem with her love ‘em and leave ‘em lifestyle until just now, knowing Trent’s dick has been in her, bare.

I drag the rarely used suitcases from the spare bedroom and set them up on the bed. Six years of my life has been spent in this house. I came straight from a college dorm room to Trent’s house, so all I had were my clothes and a few other small personal effects. Everything I’ve obtained since has been with Trent. I need none of it. I want no reminder of the wasted years. I don’t want to be reminded that while I’ve been hoping he would ask me to marry him and start a family, he’s been sleeping with my best friend.

I grab my clothes, personal items from the bathroom, and the small photo album I have of my parents. My sad life fits in two suitcases with room to spare. Pitiful.

I tug the suitcases to the front door and take one last glance at the home I thought I’d eventually raise children in after Trent manned up and asked me to marry him.

Wasted time.

Wasted hope.

Wasted life.

I lift my hand to my neck as a single tear rolls down my cheek. The first tear, but I know it’s far from the last. My fingers brush across the gold and diamond infinity symbol hanging around my neck. I cherish this necklace. He gave it to me years ago, at the same time promising me he will love me and protect me always.


Every word that he’s spewed from his beautiful mouth has been a lie. Every kiss, every I love you, and every unspoken ounce of satisfaction reflected in his glacial blue eyes has been a betrayal.

I tug the necklace until the chain breaks free and place it with a strangely calm hand on the table near the entryway. I turn and leave my entire life behind with no idea or plans for my future.

Living in the northwestern area of Great Falls, Montana has me on Interstate 15 heading north in a matter of minutes. An hour and a half later I’m pulling into a tiny gas station in Shelby. I take the time to fuel up and set my radio to the same playlist I used nine years ago when my parents died; the sad songs of loss and despair seem fitting.